Most Grooms don’t stand on the sidelines anymore watching the wedding planning parade pass them by. Instead, they prefer to roll up their sleeves and get involved. If the couples I have worked with are any indication, then almost 100% of the Grooms want to help make at least some of the decisions.
Gone are the days when the Grooms’ main job was to propose and then show up to the church on time. Granted, the guys may not care what color linens their fiancé wants on the tables or what the Bridesmaid dresses look like or what hair style and make up the Bride has in mind for their big day – but there are plenty of other decisions that capture the Grooms attention and imagination.
Choice of ceremony and reception venue and food are two of the major decisions most Grooms want to help make. They want where they will be married and where the celebration takes place to be meaningful to them as well as their Bride.
Some couples make all of the major decisions jointly but perhaps due to the hectic pace of most of our lives, the majority of couples divide up the tasks and reserve a few that they want to handle jointly.
For instance the Groom might handle:
- Finding the DJ or Band
- Selecting the Reception playlist
- Tuxedo rentals
- Transportation for the couple and their guests
- Honeymoon plans
- Wedding Night hotel reservations
- Cocktail Hour & Reception beverage selection
The Bride might handle:
- Selection of colors, linens and general look of the Ceremony and Reception areas
- Finding the florist and choosing Wedding Party and other arrangements
- Finding the photographer and videographer
- Guest Lodging and welcome baskets
- Ceremony readings or songs
Jointly they might handle:
- Cake or dessert selection
- Ceremony and Reception venue
- Reception food choices
- Officiant
- Guest List and table seating chart
- Ceremony and Reception play list
- Invitations
- Budget
Naturally, every couple is unique and will call on their own set of strengths and weaknesses to determine the best way to divvy up the tasks.
A word of caution to all Brides – I know it’s difficult to relinquish control for decisions about a day you have probably been envisioning for most of your life – but unless you plan to do everything in your married life, now is a good time to let go and share responsibilities with the one you love. Consider planning your wedding an opportunity to hold a dry run for married life and all the decisions you will need to make together as you walk down life’s path.
Here’s to Love,
Bonnie Phelps













































